SARAH POUKHZARI

Kermanshah – Iranian women confirmed that some families resort to exercising psychological pressure and physical coercion to impose marriage on girls, in cases where attempts at persuasion through ideal images and rosy promises fail, making their future aspirations limited to obtaining a house and a wedding ring due to the restrictions imposed on them.

The eyes of "Stayesh," with all the childhood dreams and hopes she carries, remain fixed on the door, as if the man described as "the dream of a lifetime" might suddenly appear from that frame, carrying a gold ring that grants her a ticket of passage to the world those around her never stop talking about. She is only fifteen years old, yet her conversations are completely devoid of any mention of a professional path, education, hard work, or the pursuit of knowledge. Her thinking is almost entirely focused on comparing herself to girls her age: "Sarina" (17 years old) is already engaged, "Melika" (15 years old) was promised to her cousin; and the ringing of Melika's bracelets as she cleans the courtyard gate completely captivates "Stayesh."

The Dream of Gold Bracelets

"Stayesh" repeatedly says that if she finds a fiancé soon, the first thing she will do is buy bracelets to show off before all the girls in the neighborhood. This proposition does not reflect merely the mentality of a few girls in a remote village, but embodies patterns prevalent in any society dominated by masculine hegemony — a society in which the rules and controls of life are imposed on girls from childhood, so that they do not see their self-realization in independence, knowledge, or creativity, but in marriage and serving the husband, a role that is rewarded only with some gold and a few bracelets.

"Farangis Q.," an activist in the field of women's rights in Kermanshah, says: "In masculine societies, marriage is by its nature closely linked to the complete restriction of women and their imprisonment inside the prison known as 'the marital home.' Nevertheless, the patriarchal system brilliantly portrays this prison as a charming ideal resembling dreams, attracting girls toward it from a tender age. Patriarchal patriarchy is fully aware that an unmarried woman enjoys opportunities for education, gaining experience, personal striving, and independence, which turns her from a submissive personality into an independent woman with will and the ability to make decisions. As a result, girls are prepared from childhood to constantly anticipate marriage, as the media, families, and even the educational system in masculine society play a role in entrenching this image that does not present marriage as a free choice, but as the only legitimate path for self-realization for women. Thus, instead of striving toward the future in the fields of knowledge, work, and creativity, girls reduce their dreams to a gold ring and a house called 'the marital home.'"

Coercion, Humiliation, and Tragedy

Encouraging girls toward early marriage or pushing them into it represents a form of hidden social pressure that operates independently of awareness or personal choice. When attractive ideal images fail to convince the teenage girl, insistence and methods of coercion replace them — a path that escalates if the girl resists, turning into heavier pressures to force her into submission.

Samira M., a woman forced into marriage by her family at the age of sixteen, recounts her story: "At that time, I wanted nothing but to study and later work as a hairdresser. But my uncle asked for my hand for his son, who was twenty years older than me. I objected, but my father beat me severely, tore my books, and burned them all. Then he told me that if I did not marry, people would think I had committed something shameful against myself, hinting that this was the reason others were refraining from marrying me. At that point, I wondered whether I was being disrespectful by opposing my father and whether he was right. In fact, that feeling of guilt pushed me to agree to the marriage, as I saw that all the girls around me were married, so I felt it was my duty to marry at an early age too. Thus, despite my opposing desire, I agreed to this marriage."

She explained that a life that ends only with marriage is the fate that the patriarchal system has drawn for girls. In such a society, young women are constantly subjected to psychological and emotional pressures represented in a permanent whisper warning them of the fate awaiting them and the society's judgments that will befall them if they remain unmarried. This fear specifically of society's view is what pushes many of them to submit to coercion, even at the expense of their physical and psychological safety. Sometimes this submission is not limited to deprivation and restrictions only, but leads to their exposure to grave violations, and they ultimately end up dead.

Journalist Sholeh S. says: "Every year we witness many girls facing harassment and family pressures to marry. In many cases, these girls are forced into marriage at a very early age. The role of patriarchal mentalities in this coercion cannot be underestimated; they are mentalities that constantly entrench in girls' minds the idea that they are incomplete unless they marry. This continuous narrative becomes deeply rooted in the minds of some girls to the point that they themselves begin to consider marriage the top priority. This social pressure is what pushes them, once they pass a certain age without marriage, to agree to be with anyone even without sufficient knowledge of him. They do not do so out of desire, but to escape others' judgments and pressures, and out of a mere desire to obtain a husband."

The death of Niloufar Mojawar days after being subjected to abuse and torture at the hands of a man who deceived her with promises of marriage caused a shock in society. The circumstances of this tragedy raise a fundamental question: Why would a teenage girl place such great hopes on a marriage offer to the point of trusting a stranger? The constant portrayal of "having a husband" as the only criterion for a girl's value and status makes her vulnerable to exploitation. In such an environment, girls seeking to attain social status are easily deceived, as the dream of "the valiant knight" can turn into irreparable harm or even a deadly tragedy.